Meet Jake

I have been trying to come up with a way to incorporate Jacob in our family pictures. I have used things like his urn and our Molly Bear in the past. But I am always so fearful of something bad happening to them, so they rarely go anywhere with us. Unless we are taking pictures at home, I don't have anything to "hold his place" in our pictures. Well I've recently decided to change that. For those who don't know, Juliet and Jacob's nursery was done in blue and pink elephants. Everything was elephants! And even now, when I see a blue elephant, I think of my strong baby boy who is in his forever home. So what better way to hold his place, than an elephant.

For our 5th year wedding anniversary in 2012, our family went to Port Aransas, TX for a week at the beach. It was a wonderful trip to play and enjoy time as a family. What we soon learned, was we brought back a two very special blessings from that trip: Jacob and Juliet. After our pregnancy went horrible, and the twins were born early and we had to say goodbye to Jacob, I never wanted to go back. I loved that beach, but I never wanted to go back to it.

Well that all changed 2 days ago. For some reason I had strong urge to go back to that very beach. So strong, that I called Brett at 3pm at work on Friday (the twins 19 month birthday) and asked if he wanted to make a day trip the next day. We had plans to get things moved this weekend, but that didn't matter anymore. I needed to be at that beach. We drove 4 hours down, played for 7 hours, and drove 4 hours back yesterday. It was a long, exhausting, amazing time for our family. It was the first time Juliet was there, and the first trip we took "Jake the Elephant" on. I know it's silly, but in 20 years, having an old, ratty elephant in our family pictures will be one of the best things I can do to keep Jacob's memory alive. So, get ready to see lots of pictures of Jake.

I don't know why I needed to be there. I don't know what Jacob was trying to tell me, but one thing I did find brought me to tears. I know our little boy was smiling down on us yesterday. You see, the first time we were there, Brett and I were walking on the beach one evening when he had said he had never found a sand dollar on the beach. Not but a few steps ahead of us, was a perfect, whole sand dollar. How cool right? Well then, at christmas 2012, a month after Jacob had died, the "Remembrance" ornament from Hallmark, was a sand dollar. I know it was from God. A way to show us that He knows what He is doing, and His plans are perfect. Well, yesterday, while sitting on the beach, half a sand dollar washed right beside me and Juliet. It was no longer a whole one, since I had the other half in my lap. It was Jacob saying hi. And God reminding me that His plans are perfect. Always. As I go through life, I will always remember Jacob, and these times when I know he is near, I cannot help but smile, and cry.

We will be going back to Port A. I know Jacob wants us back there, and I know he is there too, smiling down on us enjoying life again, while never forgetting he is a huge part of it.